The Way of True Beauty – Page 2

February 14, 2016

Self Compassion

Is it possible to have compassion for oneself?

If we understand compassion as the ability to experience another’s pain, how would it be possible to have compassion for oneself? Don’t we just, well, have our own pain and suffering? How is the notion of compassion for ourselves relevant?

Somehow it is. Somehow it must be so. It may not seem logical, but if you’ve been reading this blog for a time you know that on the Way of Beauty, reason and logic are often outranked by the alchemical and magical forces.

And alchemy is essential in healing. It is the changing of the metaphorical lead into gold, illness into wellness. How we approach, hold, and release our own suffering is key to the quality of our lives. Need I remind any of us, there is no such thing as a life without some sort and degree of suffering?

My goal for one recent year was “Be kind to yourself, Lisa!” What did I mean? I meant, in pop parlance, to give myself a break. In Way of Beauty terms I meant to have compassion for myself. Too often our harshest critic is ourselves:

Only got a B+ on that exam? Shame!

Just because you had surgery last month and have been doing PT three times a week is no excuse for being behind on the month’s sales’ stats! Get with it!

Isn’t that baby fat gone yet ?! I brought the baby home two weeks ago!

The divorce was a year ago! Stop talking about it! Those 20 years are in the past!

You get the picture… too often our expectations of ourselves hold little compassion, no allowance for any suffering, any expression of the pain, for any margin of error, let alone honoring the authenticity of that suffering, the recognition of the need for a necessary and healing process of grieving, hurting.

We hold our suffering at bay, not allowing it in, feeling it, allowing it to be real, true. I might spin off here into the need and illusions of perfectionism, but that is for later. Now we are addressing being compassionate towards ourselves, understanding and forgiving of ourselves as we go forward doing the best that we can with the information and the tools at hand under the circumstances we have created for ourselves – with the helpful knowledge that nothing is static. Life and we are evolving.

Recognize your suffering: don’t let it rule you – either by assiduously ignoring it or by placing it on the throne and becoming its servant; wallowing is not healing either. A quick aside: Self-pity is not the same as self-compassion. There is a world of difference — that’s why there are different words. Pitying someone or yourself is not a constructive act. In our times a connotation of contempt has grown around the action of pity/pitying someone that is absent in other words that seek to address describing feeling with others.

As a teen-ager I remember my mother admonishing my moody 14-ish self: “Stop feeling so sorry for yourself!” My older sister would taunt: “What’s with the pity party?” So I was taught it was not only selfish and unattractive behavior, but also I learned that it got me no where: it was unproductive. Hmmm. How is it some adults have somehow missed that day at “How to Be A Grown Up” school?

But I digress.

Perhaps most importantly, endeavor not to disassociate from your pain. Ironically, through compassion for yourself you will learn that it is not an other, that “bad back” or (from my repertoire:) “stupid seizure disorder”. It is you, part of you. There is no “it” and “me.” When feeling compassion for yourself – feeling your own pain and suffering – speak of “we.”

“Oh dear, my broken heart, what must we do to get through to the other side of this!?”

HAPPY VALENTINE’S DAY TO US!

January 24, 2016

The Question of Taste …

To walk the Way of Beauty and practice True Beauty aspires to transcend our culture’s ingrained notions of “taste.”

Taste, as used here is defined in the dictionary as:

the sense of what is fitting, harmonious or beautiful; the perception and enjoyment of what constitutes excellence in the fine arts, literature, fashion, etc.;
the sense of what is seemly, polite, tactful, etc., to say or do in a given social situation
one’s personal attitude or reaction toward an aesthetic phenomenon or social situation, regarded as either good or bad
the ideas of aesthetic excellence or of aesthetically valid forms prevailing in a culture or personal to an individual

It is this last definition that concerns me, that I think of as the crippling aspect within the concept and the notion of ‘taste.’ It is this approach that I believe needs to be unlearned in order to disable our short-cut thinking and become more easily aware of True Beauty.

Think of what you have found beautiful, and perhaps sought to elevate, honor, call attention to – “Wow! That’s so…uplifting/breathtaking/ beautiful!”… fill in your word for the experience, for we have all experienced such a moment. Whether the “that” in question is a particular sight, color, sound, touch, flavor, fragrance, insight, understanding, experience or combination of some or all of the above…. it doesn’t so much matter.

Whole books have been written defending, attacking and/or defining the notion of “taste” in aesthetics. Immanuel Kant, in his “Critique of Judgment” (1928) did a fine job elucidating the subjective and universal nuances in the judgment of aesthetics. David Hume went so far as to create standards for taste, and “wrote the book,” literally. Taste, frankly, shouldn’t be much more than a hiccup in the cosmology of True Beauty. Beauty in our new operating paradigm here is not concerned with ideas of rigid standards of “taste” except in so far as it becomes a stumbling block or a barrier for those attempting to practice True Beauty. Hence, we must attempt some unlearning.

At some points along the way this has been difficult for me. Because believe me, I was brought up with a healthy dose of one must have Taste with a Capital “T.”

This concept of taste is worthy to bring to the discussion because it is an eminent example of the kind of breach that can separate us from (true) Beauty. Separation occurs when there is the Observer and the Observed, the Maker and the Object as Other. When the idea of “taste” goes beyond simple discernment for personal choice and becomes an ethos that defines a group — indeed labels one as belonging to a certain class or level of education — then it is a very effective tool of separation.

True Beauty connects, unifies — it does not create separation.

David Hume was writing in the 1700s. There is much worthy observation and philosophy in his treatise. But his exploration into and need to develop standards for taste instructs me in the degree to which our understanding of Beauty had become departmentalized, rationalized by then. And, eventually, trivialized.

Why? I think it is because Hume’s stance, in essence, is that one’s level of taste is based on class, education, and experience; that without these one is most likely to be vulgar and – the worst – common. That through educated experience one learns judgment and discernment. There is truth in this; it reflects the evolution of understanding. In my ethos, however, this would be just fine if the discourse and its implications were strictly limited to the individual and the individual’s own choices, and not broadcast as a levels of societal worthiness, acceptability and – Beauty.

I take exception to shortcuts of perception, recipes – “standards of taste” that have in practice become “coda of beauty.” While I can appreciate the probable intention behind Hume’s book, the resultant elitism and narrowing of aesthetics have had consequences that have proved to be at least equally counterproductive.

The concept of Taste as a Definitor is the child of a civilization that has become so dependent upon appearance, the surfaces of perception and comparative values, with little to no regard for intrinsic and/or deeper values so it can no longer rely on the honest and intuitive senses of its individuals.

Further, such “standards” can be a code to create and preserve a static and deadened place-holder, so there is mere repetition of “beauty” based on a long-ago Hellenic discovery — a sad, time-worn standard. The freshness of beauty no longer exists.

Suffice to say for our purposes, Taste as an arbiter of Beauty does not need to enter further into a discussion of True Beauty. If my reader disagrees, I would love to hear from you.

Well, Lou has just come in and has been reading over my shoulder again. “Jeesh!” he says, “What I photo by Lisa Z Lindahl want to taste is my lunch! You still sitting here hitting those keys?! Come eat something with me!”

I laugh and tell Lou I will, I will. And I silently bless my own good taste that brought his bright light into my life.

Beauty is not in the face; beauty is a light in the heart
~ Kahlil Gibran

January 17, 2016

A Fantasy

Farmers

Teachers

Mothers

What if these were the most revered, the most respected and highly compensated jobs and roles in our society?

What/who are they now?

Football players

Actors

Corporate CEOs

In the interests of being totally transparent, I did little* research about the above other than reading the news and observing what we do for entertainment. And

I saw a bumpersticker the other day that read: No Farms, No Food

and that got me thinking…uh… “Right!”, duh! So:

Nourish the body — farmers

Nourish the mind — teachers

Create & nourish the human — mothers

Imagine with the above scenario of revered citizens: the Mother who grows citrus trees that repeatedly bear luscious and bountiful fruit and who then teaches her successful methods to all who are interested to learn. Year after year… Songs are written and sung about her. She is a heroine.

No one has heard of football. C, E, and O are just letters in an alphabet. And most everyone has fun being the actors in a play when not watching one! Then they go back to teaching, or studying to be a better farmer or mother.

~ ~ ~

Oh, I know it is a very simplistic fantasy! Let me have it for a few moments.

*the research I did do revealed that in actuality doctors, specifically anesthesiologists, are the highest paid occupation in the U.S. But this was calculated using hourly wage-earning. I couldn’t find any data on how much Leonard DiCaprio is paid by the hour. And it would really take a lot of sting and humor out of my essay if I were to mess it up with an actuarial truth.

January 10, 2016

Raison D’Etre of the Universe?!

True Beauty is the Raison D’Etre of The Universe?

I am not alone in my suspicion that Beauty is the raison d’etre of our Universe:

True Beauty is both the cause and effect of harmony, of empathy, of community. Beauty unites all things and is the source of all things. It is the great creating cause which bestirs the world and holds all things in existence by the longing inside them to have harmony, Beauty.

I find so much evidence in the literature of quantum physics, general sciences, philosophy, folk wisdoms and mythologies that points to the elemental and essential nature of Beauty’s role in our Universe.

For instance, from the Science and Math camp – via a theologian, no less — comes this little tidbit: “’Symmetry’ is one of the most frequently recurring words in contemporary scientific literature” (Fr. Diarmuid O’Murchu in Quantum Theology). I would add that “elegance” and “beautiful” would pop up repeatedly on the screen if anyone took the time to do a computerized word scan of current scientific and mathematical lectures and texts. Indeed, one of Brian Greene’s most popular books is entitled “The Elegant Universe.” Was it Einstein or another mathemetician who said “if an equation is not beautiful, it cannot be correct.” And tell me: do the Mandelbrot Set—or any fractals– reveal ugly, jarring, disharmonious patterns? Chaos and nature make Beauty. The quantum potential first makes Beauty. Or, and here’s my question: is it that Beauty births the Implicate?

I also find much anecdotal evidence simply by observing the world and its peoples: Beauty is the essence, and is manifest everywhere. It is the mother, daughter and holy spirit, to mess a bit with Christianity’s Trinity.

To again paraphrase O’Murchu, only the heart can intuit the unmanifest level. Our current science will not prove my hypothesis that the vibration that we call “Beauty” is the source of the Universe. Many religions, on faith, believe in Love. My “faith” tells me that love is an outcome, a reaction to, Beauty.

And so to leap to a new, rather poetic definition, of the verb: Beauty is a dynamic process of becoming in the continuum of the expansion of the Universe, expressed in cyclical waves, rising into harmonic being, falling away and disintegrating into entropy, chaos, discord before resolving again into the orderly harmony of True Beauty, only to spew forth again, the Universe expanding, creating itself.

Over and over and over again.

After reading process philosopher Alfred North Whitehead, I understand how closely this vision of Beauty tracks with his concept of “prehensions” and their processes. This is evidence, to me, of intuitive, collective knowing of the Is-ness.

For this is how I understand the action of Beauty. This is why it is a universally recognized entity among species, especially in the consciousness of man, and why it is the motivator. It is the essential cycle, the essence of not only survival (maintenance), but birth (creation and expansion), and clearance (death). It is the reason to expand. The Universe’s raison d’etre. Or, to make a joke: as the memetics might like to have it: the original, the Main Meme.

original art by Lisa Z. Lindahl — Midnight Serenity

January 3, 2016

Perfection

There is no such thing as perfection.

Perfection as it is commonly understood is an illusory state of being, a static state that is sought in so many realms, by so many. The pursuit of perfection in our skills/talents/abilities, appearance; in our jobs, in our relationships, in ourselves and in others — it is what creates disappointment and malcontent. Striving for that Holy Grail of perfection is debilitating. Even just harboring the expectation of someday having perfection in an aspect of your life can create an overall emotional malaise.

My parents created the perfect Christmas experience for their four children. Or so it seemed to me, the youngest. Many believe fashion models to have perfect faces and forms. Men and women look and hope for their perfect mate. Students strive for that “A,” the sign of a perfect performance.

And at this time of year, the start of a new year, a new cycle, we often look again at that far off shining “Perfect State of…” whatever. We resolve to do it…gain it…achieve it…capture it…

What is perfection? Why do we desire it?

If we were to probe our expectations of perfection — what would we find? Might that idyllic perfection we aspire to have been born from a seed, emotional or intellectual, planted in our past and a bit embellished by memory? The (fill in the blank) would be, well, perfect! The object/event/person would meet all criteria that somehow linger in the murky recesses of our craniums. We’d be happy! Hmmm. Please, don’t get me wrong; I do think — know — that our innate impulse to do well or make something better is a productive one. But are we able to recognize when something is, ah, complete? Do we notice, linger in and rejoice in the resultant contentment? Or are we too critical, searching — often subconsciously– for flaws and denying the possibility of completion, contentment?

I have fought my personal Perfection Demon. I like to think I’ve made progress. These days for me the idea of perfection is a different way of expressing what I call “high harmony.” A bringing together of great synchronicities, producing a harmonious vibration (to put it in that parlance) that creates a new and pleasing event, in the broadest sense of the word. But harmony is not static. It is ever wavering, ever changing like the universe itself.

This time of year I think of that “perfect” Christmas I experienced repeatedly as a child. I have never been able to recreate it, of course. At least that’s what I think, though I cannot truly know how the holidays my adult self helped to create were experienced by others. And how were those long-ago Christmases for my parents, who stayed up all night on Christmas Eve to create the experience this child had?

Here’s the thing — and I’ll bet you know it — I am just reminding you:

Letting go of one’s past while also learning from it is the key to a happy present. (No seasonal pun intended). And that is often no easy feat.

LEARN FROM THE PAST even AS YOU LET IT GO

WISHING YOU A HAPPY, HEALTHY 2016,

Lisa

December 28, 2015

Holiday beauty in the Lowcountry

Visions of sugarplums

~flowers

dance in my head

~before my eyes

during this winter holiday:

photo by lisa z lindahl

And there are some green spirits and holiday fairies around as well…

December 20, 2015

HAPPY WINTER SOLSTICE!

THE LIGHT RETURNS!

again…

Farewell friend darkness. As you recede and all around begins to awaken, I cling to my last bits of secret slumber.

December 13, 2015

Art

Often — and unconsciously I think — art and beauty are somewhat confused.

I make art. My artwork is not True Beauty. It is just an expression of my creative impulse of the moment. Sometimes I find my work visually pleasing. Sometimes I do not, but I have fun creating it nonetheless.

Just sayin’ …

December 6, 2015

A Reminder

photo by Lisa Lindahl — Southern winter sky

In this season of love and giving I thought it fruitful to remind my readers — and myself — of the essence of what this blog is about.

The nature of True Beauty (to make the distinction from the the sort sought at cosmetics counters), is its importance in our everyday lives. How to bring deep, true Beauty into our daily routines and recognize what True Beauty already exists in our life – this is at the heart of The Way of Beauty and its Practices.

The awareness, contemplation, cultivation and intention of True Beauty enhances and engenders harmony in all dimensions. To “as above, so below” I would add “as within, so without; as without, so within.” Think perceptions, attitudes, relationships here. And take a look around your house.

The new reports illustrate why the reclaiming of the actual nature and importance of True Beauty in our lives NOW is so important.

The perception and recognition of this kind of Beauty is available to virtually everyone. As Helen Keller famously noted,

“The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched—they must be felt with the heart.”

And while I spend time looking at some definitions of “True” Beauty and what its parameters might be, it is vital to note that the variety of Beauty we concern ourselves with here — “deep” or “true” beauty — goes far beyond what only our senses may measure, what treasures money will buy; far beyond the appearance of things, notably the human face and form.

Noticing and embracing this “meta-beauty” in our lives is a step towards our own strengthening and, I propose, the healing of much of the existing cultural pathology that has arisen during the pa original art by Lisa Z Lindahl st century — a century that has been the era of True Beauty’s demise.

The Way of Beauty aspires to transcend notions of standard “taste” as well as evaluations of what each of us finds beautiful, and rather, seeks to elevate, honor, call attention to the importance of that moment of
engagement – “Wow! That is so beautiful” — that we have all experienced. Whether the “that” in question is a particular sight, color, sound, touch, taste, fragrance, insight, understanding, experience or combination of some or all of the above…. it doesn’t much matter.

So try thinking with this notion of True Beauty during this holiday season. You might give serenity; receive laughter.

With love,

Lisa

November 22, 2015

Holidays, Holy Days, Holi-Daze

I’ve never liked November. I don’t exactly know why, especially since there are so many celebrations in my family in November as well as, of course, Thanksgiving. And I’ve always enjoyed Thanksgiving, so why do I dread November?

Perhaps it is the dreary weather so often encountered in the Northeast, where I grew up and lived for so many years. Lack of sun, the gray and too-barren landscape, early snow storms conspire to undermine my personal practice of Beauty. I can find that Beauty in November’s landscape — but I have to work harder at it, and that bothers me.

It is easier here in the Southeast. The camellias are blooming red, pink and white in my yard. The Live Oaks wear their stoles of Spanish Moss which sways elegantly in the November breezes. There is plenty of sunlight. I need only to look out to encounter True Beauty in this place’s November.

Spanish moss hanging from Live Oak in the evening — Spanish moss hanging from a Live Oak in the southern evening

My November discomfort may be related to the holidays — or what I call the holi-daze. Over the course of my life I have spent too many of them alone, and that has been difficult. When I recall all the past holidays that were filled with family and loved ones I too often compare and contrast with the “alone” holiday experiences.

But as I have written elsewhere, comparing and contrasting can be an unproductive trap. The action may eviscerate any truth of the Beauty at hand, here in the present.

And here I am, looking at my dread, figuring it out, moving away from it and beyond — I hope! And remembering that I am so grateful to be living in this country, in these times, where we have so much freedom to be. To be.

So:

HAPPY DAY, HAPPY THANKSGIVING — GIVE THANKS!