Relationships are all there is. Everything in the universe only exists because it is in relationship to everything else. Nothing exists in isolation. We have to stop pretending we are individuals that can go it alone. ~ Margaret J. Wheatley
I hope by now it is clear that choosing to follow a path of True Beauty is in great part about noticing, cultivating and sustaining Beauty, an integral form of harmonious relationships. Becoming a Practitioner of True Beauty!
While relationship begins first between you and you — being the most authentic self you can be as discussed last week — the next most important and primary relationship is between you and the “Other,” or really a series of “others” whose main characteristic is that they are perceived as external of the “I.” While there is the Other of our immediate environment our first “other of flesh” is, most probably our birth family, then the family chosen and created beyond that. Thirdly are all the relationships one chooses to create just between folks and other species — pets and, say, houseplants. (I am currently in deep mourning for my 20+ year old Jade plant that is seriously ailing. I cannot admit it’s dying.)
Though all of the above may seem obvious, looking at the status of today’s families, community health, ecology and abused and abandoned animals — it isn’t. We only have to look around to see the growing anomie* in our culture.
*Anomie is the disorientation and alienation that arises in a society as a result of the erosion of its moral and social codes. People feel isolated and alone, without a supportive social or guiding framework.
True Beauty is the antidote for anomie.
Relationship is a word that has been so overused in our culture today. Perhaps because truly meaningful relationships are too scarce for too many. For instance have you noticed we now have “Relationship Brokers” in place of customer service departments in many businesses now? Too funny. Or sad.
So what is relationship really about? Hoo-boy! So many books, lectures, TV shows, gurus have gone on about this very subject! But there is actually science behind/about relationship. I’ll try to put it into non-science speak.
Relationship is about attraction and resonance. Being attracting, attracted and resonating with an other –only to find upon entering into the dance of relationship that one-plus-one equals not two, but three — and we are not talking about Baby, here!
The attraction of the two has created something bigger than the separate single units apart: the “field of attraction.” This field is the observable energy created by and between the two. Gravity is a field of attraction. I could say, quite literally, that the Moon fell for the Earth. I like that. The pull you feel towards someone is a real, energetic, observable thing.
Plato wrote about it, Shakespeare dramatized it, and virtually every culture has tradition and mythology around it; many worldwide believe that it is “love that makes the world go ’round.”
So while those millions of books have been written and therapies have been developed to help create and sustain healthy and happy relationships, at day’s (and experts’) end harmony in relationship relies upon the care and maintenance of that field. And that all boils down to “importances.” What is your order of importances? To what and where do you give time, energy and attention? How much to oneself, to the job, the sport, the maintenance of possessions, and to the journey of others around us? On what do you focus?
Ditto to the above for the Other who is creating that field of attraction with you.
And, then, just to complicate matters: can we accept the care, love and concern of an other flowing to us? We often hear of the joys of giving. But how many of us are uncomfortable with receiving? How is it to be the subject of another’s focus? Is it hard to simply say “Thank You” when someone does a thoughtful thing or pays one a compliment?
Finally, how do we communicate? How effective are both at expressing as well as listening? Effective communication is the key to authentic relationship, and successful, harmonic relationship itself is key to living a life of Beauty.
Personal relationships are not irrelevant or extra-curricular. They are a central expression of Harmony, of a life of True Beauty. In formally entering, i.e. consciously choosing a relationship with another human being we are entering the dance and mystery of the Universe itself.
Note, however, it is a core premise of the Way of Beauty that, in fact, all is in relationship. Not just human-to-human. Or man to dog. Or human to earth. All is in relationship, all the time. Being in conscious relationship, therefore, is a tall order.
To practice harmonic relationship:
1) Know that you are in relationship with all, all the time. Your energy effects the energy field of that and those around you.
2) Notice your order of importances. This is a big clue to your own attractions and resonances, if you need a clue… and often we do!
3) Focus on that which you want to include in your life and see more of in the world. If, conversely, you focus on the negative, it is the negative that will occupy your environment.
4) Communicate. You are in relationship. Duh!
5) Really, just follow all the Beauty practices as well as you can. The Way of Beauty is about increasing Harmony, the happy state of relationship.
“Consider the following. We humans are social beings. We come into the world as the result of others’ actions. We survive here in dependence on others. Whether we like it or not, there is hardly a moment of our lives when we do not benefit from others’ activities. For this reason it is hardly surprising that most of our happiness arises in the context of our relationships with others. ~HH Dalai Lama
Beauty takes time for us to see fully. It always takes longer to hear with the heart, but the song heard there is lasting and precious.
~ Mark Nepo
“It broke my heart!”
“That went straight to the heart of the matter.”
“It really touched my heart.”
“I’m heartbroken!”
“I heart you”
Sound familiar? Ever said or written such yourself? We all have, I bet. Up until several years ago I thought these just colorful expressions; that there was nothing really going on with one’s heart muscle, aorta and such. Then two things happened that radically changed my mind.
The first occurred years ago while doing research for my Masters thesis. It led me to one of my still-favorite resources, the Institute of HeartMath. It turns out there’s actually quite a bit of science to support the existence of ways of knowing and understanding that we have habitually discounted. And heart-related matters are, er, at the heart of it. We do perceive, feel and think using our hearts. The organs of the body have their own electromagnetic fields (EMF) and:
The heart is the most powerful generator of electromagnetic energy in the human body… . The heart’s electrical field is about 60 times greater in amplitude than the electrical activity generated by the brain. … Furthermore, the magnetic field produced by the heart is more than 5,000 times greater in strength than the field generated by the brain, and can be detected a number of feet away from the body, in all directions. ~www.heartmath.org/research
Further, the neural network that most of us were educated to believe was the purview of the brain alone is in fact a web throughout our entire body. Folk wisdom in many cultures has always referred to the heart as a center of knowing, wisdom and feeling. Now our God of Science has validated that knowingness with the astounding data that the heart has a greater electromagnetic field than the brain; and an abundance of neural networks. We do, indeed, think and feel with our hearts. And what we have deemed “intuition” is probably information coming to us via these fields and networks.
The second thing that happened was a personal experience. A non-physical traumatic event occurred in my life and it had, among others, this very physical effect: my chest hurt. Badly. It lasted for several months. I had no idea what this constant physical pain was. Doctors sent me to the ER, more than once, sure I was having a heart attack. It was then I realized that those “colorful expressions” were not merely metaphors, but accurate statements of a real physical response to emotional pain. My heart was broken.
The heart feels, emotes…we are not brain-centric thinkers or feelers. I believe that what we call “intuition” is, in fact, information/knowingness coming to us before being processed by the brain. It is coming to us via the EMFs of our organs, most predominately our heart. We need only heed it.
To practice thinking with your heart:
1) Listen for and to your “inner voice.”
2) As you notice those “thoughts” and impulses you’ve previously labeled intuition speak them aloud and/or write them down. This is a form of acknowledgement, honoring and validating such knowing/gnowing.
3) Try acting on your intuition when possible. Notice the outcomes.
4) Choose to be around what I call “higher companions;” those people who tickle your laugh muscle, lighten your spirit and encourage spontaneity. Who at the same time do not back away from helping you shine a light on your demons. Who tend not to scoff at your intuitions and will encourage you in your endeavors and your challenges. Whose only criticism, when it comes, is insightful, delivered with compassion and always constructive in nature. You’ve heard yourself think or say about them “I just LOVE being with (insert name here). You strive to be the same for and to them. Such friends nurture our hearts and our heart-thinking.
So, in summary, it is time to stop dismissing that which we label “intuition.” It is knowing from a different source. It is “gnowing.” If something is calling to us, moving or inspiring us that seemingly has no “logical” source — so what? Get over it! Release that criteria. Practice thinking with your Heart. And acting on those thoughts/feelings. Allow yourself. To do so creates greater inner harmony, a requisite state in turn for creating True Beauty outside oneself.
The intuitive mind is a sacred gift and the rational mind is a faithful servant. We have created a society that honors the servant and has forgotten the gift. ~ Albert Einstein
My mischievous friend Lou came in today and asked me what I was doing spending another beautiful morning at my computer. Good question. I reminded him that I was doing this blog about the importance of recognizing True Beauty, and how to actually practice it and incorporate it into everyday life.
Lou is a major skeptic. Like many, he dismisses beauty; thinks it is trivial. He is confusing (I think) mere glamour for true, deep abiding beauty.
So we have these discussions. It’s been really good for me, actually, as over time he has taunted me about the tenets of True Beauty. It made me realize that this was not some pop-ideaology with which I was infatuated for a brief time, but something that I truly believed and continued to be passionate about. Something born in me, of me. I need to share this with others; I feel it is so very important in healing both ourselves and the earth.
When I say things like that, Lou says I sound pompous as hell. In the face of adolescent Lou-truth I am nothing if not under scrutiny. Which has proved a good thing. My own personal challenger. Gotta love it.
And I love that it has worked its magic. That I have come to understand that Beauty, True Beauty — not the shallow “glamour” that passes for beauty these days — is the very accessible road to a healing harmony for everyone. I’ve done my share of traveling; I’m not naive about the poverty that exists on the globe. And I believe that it is the awareness of True and deep Beauty that contributes to those impoverished lives the bit of spiritual serenity and harmony available to them in their struggle to survive. The ability to tap into it may befuddle those who are better-off . But herein lies a long essay. Not for now. And Lou is scrunching up his face, feeling his question is unanswered.
Why am I inside opposite a glowing screen instead of outside practicing what I preach? Because, sweet Lou, a thread throughout all the Beauty practices is discipline and balance. I am being true to myself by sharing what I gnow (not a typo) about the importance of True Beauty. I’ll go to the beach to “pray” and play later.
So to you who find yourself on this blog page, a reminder: I write here to share my conviction that True Beauty is a necessary tool in the balanced functioning of our earth and universe. It might even be the raison d’être of our universe. We can participate and practice it every day, incorporate it easily into our daily living with simple shifts of perception and/or attitude, with our choices, in our relationships.
Wowza! I want you to recognize, nurture and sustain True Beauty in your personal universe. I want you too to practice True Beauty! It is important to engage now. What’s more, it is fun, fulfilling and so full of grace…
This is one of my favorite Beauty practices. In part because it has a certain shock factor for some people first hearing of it and I can be mischievous. But mostly because it is a constant practice for me. It is a constant challenge to my daily operating assumptions. (My “doa”s?? Hmmm).
I don’t really believe in “truth” as I understand adherents of Science and the Age of Reason to use/define it. I find truth to be relative, subjective. This shocks my fundamentalist friends — whether they be vegan, Christian, Scientologist, or Democrat… .
A man of science who I heard speak once revealed that he and other scientists and researchers held a particularly skeptical attitude towards scientific theory: “SAFN,” an acronym for Somewhat Adequate For Now. To wit: inquiry into a realm of the largely unknown (say, quantum physics or deep space) would go on until an apparent pattern or story began to form from clues and evidence that was gathered over a period of time. Said story was then extrapolated into a probable scenario and, with a certain amount of agreement among the parties involved, deemed a bona fide “theory.” The definition for theory is “speculation, assumption, conjecture.” Left unchallenged by new or different speculation, assumption, etc., said theory starts to be assumed “truth” by the general public, and SAFN by the scientific communty. Often it is the very longevity of a theory that seems to be their proof. Think Big Bang Theory or the Theory of Relativity. Once it was the theory that the sun revolved around the earth…or that the earth (clearly!) is flat. You get the idea.
So what is true?
The concept of truth is, actually, very useful. It helps create our shared reality, core ethics and intent. However, the universe is expanding as it must, including all the dogmas, doctrines, “truths” that have gone before, are currently in vogue today, and those truths that are awaiting our discovery of them.
Currently we live in the Age of Reason, Logic and Science. I hold that in some ways it is the Dark Age of Reason and Science in that it disallows so many other ways of knowing. Specifically “gnowing.” Gnowing? Many indigenous cultures take for granted inner knowingness — gnowing is that way of discerning a current truth or sensing True Beauty through these many other conduits of garnering information. We often associate these “other conduits” to body parts: heart, gut, third eye. Some just toss it off as intuition.
To Practice “truth wariness:”
1) Be flexible in your perspective on truth. Challenge your own assumptions about the nature of a person, place, or thing.
2) Become aware of historical shifts in “The Truth”. Educate yourself about different belief systems. Reject anything touting itself as an “absolute truth” (including this statement).
3) Listen deeply to yourself; express your own truth with compassion for that of others. Communicate it with the intent to create an evolutionary response, not only from those without — but within yourself as well. Strive to not cultivate “fixed” ideas.
4) Deeply listen to others. What is true for them? Can you see it? Is it as they say? Can you live their truth for a bit without having to adopt it?
5) Examine your need to be “right.” Is it serving you or not? Do you want to be right, or do you want to be effective?
6) Make choices that move you in your correct direction. Indian philosopher J. Krishnamurti says this about the nature of truth: “Truth is not a fixed point; it is not static; it cannot be measured by words; it is not a concept, a idea to be achieved.” (Keeerect in my book!)
“Believe nothing, no matter where you read it or who has said it, not even if I have said it, unless it agrees with your own reason and your own common sense.” ~Buddha
The concepts of Truth and Beauty are often paired. It is assumed that one informs, or proves, the other. I contend that “truth” is a moving target — as is the popular notion of beauty (i.e. “glamour” — think fashion, aesthetic trends, etc.). But True Beauty is eternal, unwavering. It is as harmony: manifesting in many different instruments, relationships, and vibrations, but always … always harmonic.
I wish I could say that this notion of Beauty as an applied philosophy and daily practice was my brainchild. I can’t. True Beauty as the central tenet of a society is not new, just ancient and mostly forgotten now. I am ringing the bell. What The Way of Beauty as I put it forth is doing is remembering and urging action. Saying — no screaming — that True Beauty must be reclaimed now. And you and I can do it ourselves, so easily really.
It will save us, and our earth. True Beauty is what keeps the universe in sync. In harmony. In balance. Expanding.
True Beauty is the raison d’être of the Universe.
I am not exaggerating. It is our prejudices and preconceived notions of what “beauty” can be, can mean, might be capable of that make us scoff at the notion of True Beauty as a power. As the reason our Universe exists and continues to expand. When I first was struck with this notion it was one part intuition and 3 parts instinctual certainty. But I thought I might be a little mad. Courting hubris. So one day I told Brian Swimme (author and cosmologist) that I believed that True Beauty was the raison d’être of the Universe. His response? “Well, of course!” as if I were stating something obvious to all.
I was heartened.
As I said above, other civilizations have embraced True Beauty as their society’s guiding principle. The Navajo (or Dine as they refer to themselves) come to mind. I love that the Dine might measure a man’s worth to their community by the number and quality of songs that he contributed to it. Their culture of Hozho valued beauty, harmony, balance and health.
And there were the Greeks, of course. Our sense of aesthetics come from their incredible research and works. But we’ve gotten stuck there. As a civilization the West has been merely replicating and doing versions of that which has come before. We have adopted the Greco-Roman standards of beauty and not dared move on. True Beauty is not static. It is always changing, surprising, refreshing. Think of dawns, sunsets, laughter, the sound of rain on a roof, sunlight ‘prism-ing’ through a raindrop on a leaf; crystals growing in the earth; that feeling of satisfaction and accomplishment after completing a challenging task; sunlight interacting with plants, almost anywhere. The lively twinkle in someone’s eye. A sweet voice raised loudly in song. No two of any of the above ever the same; all of True Beauty.
If I were a scientist as well as an artist I could give you all the “proofs” and “evidences” that support the claims regarding the importance and integral nature of True Beauty. But I am not. One of my fav fantasies is to pull together a panel of folks from different disciplines to articulate, from their area of expertise, their understanding of True Beauty’s nature and importance. I’d have a physicist, a mathematician a couple of visual artists, a couple of writers, a philosopher or two, and of course, a theologian of sorts. What fun!
In the end what we would do is create a proper “white paper,” serviceable for the general public, publications and today’s “influencers” to state with an impressive degree of well-rounded authority what the Navajo already knew: What we call Beauty (true Beauty and not cheap “glamour”) is the raison d’être of our Universe. My fantasy white paper would stir the social marketing gurus to do for the Glamour vs. True Beauty confusion and our western civ’s value system what was done to tobacco and the smoking habit: change the general population’s understanding and values around the issue. Raise awareness about True, Deep Beauty — and banish mere glamour back to the magician’s realm.
Tuning into True Beauty and nurturing it in our everyday lives through these Beauty Practices will raise the vibration of not only (you/me) the practitioner, but of the earth itself and all the creatures upon it. At this bleak point in our species’ history what could possibly be more important? More joyful? Easier? It needn’t be stressful and difficult to help tip the balance back to the light.
Turn off the TV news and experience your geranium growing.
There is a prevailing and ubiquitous disregard of Beauty and the sacredness of nature. Nature, the “natural world” is the primary manifestation of our universe’s luminous matter in this time/space/place we know as the planet Earth. Rare, precious, matter.
I find it of further interest to consider that currently a popular scientific theory posits that all matter “pops” into existence out of dark energy. And back out of existence again. It is what remains around that becomes our ‘visible and tangible’ world. One must wonder: since there is so much dark energy – 73{d26b639eb74f8edb8884074db06109d949b84d3d1d14796b516693be64172811} — why is matter so rare? Why doesn’t it manifest more and more often? Or does it, and it is just outside the realm of our current levels of understanding and perception? Hmmm.
While matter is an important form in which Beauty can manifest, indeed the form in which we are most familiar recognizing Beauty, it is not the only form. I suggest that Beauty is a field (as in electromagnetic field) and therefore a resonance. Sometimes we experience Beauty almost outside our sense perceptions, I think. We are uplifted for no apparent “good reason.” This all speaks to Beauty’s link to harmony, and how it (harmony, harmonic relationships) pops in and out of our experience and awareness.
Some propose that the Universe began with a sound. A single musical note. More than one, and you might have a harmony; wavelengths that flow together, in synchronicity, harmonious. Wavelengths exist in a field. We get into the physics here that lead to the metaphysics:
So I propose a further definition of Beauty:
True Beauty is the synergistic, flowing field that holds all in dynamic, resonating harmony as the next movement unfurls.
If you are a physics geek, at this point you might, most appropriately, find the moving computer illustration of the equation called the Mandelbrot Set. It is waaaay cool!
True, deep Beauty is reflected in the life force that is present all around us – it’s a joyous, sometimes riotous party given by the entire Universe. We’re always invited, though too often we don’t attend. “Attend,” pay attention to… .. Look up, look around! Look out your window – there’s a gorgeous party going on!
Relationships are all there is. Everything in the universe only exists because it is in relationship to everything else. Nothing exists in isolation. We have to stop pretending we are individuals that can go it alone. ~ Margaret J. Wheatley
